A genuine reflection (part 1)

I just had a brain wave, but totally forgot what I wanted to rave about. I’m currently at Wally World and in a reflective state. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking with the help of MR who has been a blessing. I confided in her and she gave me the idea for a way to exorcise demons (figuratively speaking) out of my life. Letting go of things has never been harder, but I’ve never felt better from doing it. Starting from today, I’m letting go of the “shoulds” and working with the present day. Life is too goddamned short and precious for bullshit, you know? I’m an auntie now (niece from my sister and nephew from my other sister-from-another-mother) and that has given me cause for some serious reflection. For all I know, it could be me next although that is not in the works right now. lol. Sorry, moms (both of you. lol). When the time is right, I will talk about an issue that has been a seldom-talked about problem, but happens to have played a big part in things. Sorry for speaking in riddles or cryptically, but all shall be made clear in good time. Anyway, the point of this post was to reflect on my life and the blessings that have come my way. I feel very reconnected to my family and I cannot express how this makes me feel. All the “loneliness” of the past years has just melted away and it’s very humbling to be a part of a beloved family unit. Things have never been better with MA and RE as far as communications go and whether I like to admit it or not, I’m truly grateful for the state of relations between us right now. I’m learning how to be a more effective partner with M who is more like me than I care to admit. lol. We both tend to talk in riddles at times and of course, signals get crossed and misinterpreted. Our saving grace has been the fact that we both don’t like to sleep on an angry mind and more often than not, we talk things out till we are blue in the face(s). I just want to thank M for speaking his mind and the truth even when it earned him my anger at times. In the particular case I’m writing about, it was a solid case of the truth hurting and me wanting to ‘lash’ out at the source of my hurt. In the end, what he said ended up being a blessing in disguise because it galvanized both of us into action and we Got Things Done! There is no better feeling than that of accomplishment and that, my friends, is what I’m celebrating today. Accomplishment in the little things of life. Not getting a degree or earning a six figure salary. For now, I am happy with celebrating the simple act of forgiveness, humility and continual education from all areas of life.


A little something something

M bought my bike yesterday so it’s truly mine now! *cue evil laughter* Because he had to take care of ‘bidness’, I missed going out on my bike ride yesterday. I have been craving a trip to the movie theater so I am going to make an attempt today to do that. M will be at work so I am preparing myself for the task of timing my exit from work to coincide with the bus which comes once every hour. So wish me luck! I totally want to see IronMan and Spiderwick Chronicles. I love all (almost all) things fantasy. lol. If I don’t make it to the theater, I’ll go riding. Things were a bit relaxed at work this week and part of me suspects my female boss for being responsible. It’s sometimes funny how she knows when to push and how to bring out the 100% in me. I am also not going to kid myself that she can bring out the stern taskmaster at any moment so I will be wise not to take anything for granted. Have I said how selfless M is? 😀 I think he’s just now realizing all the trouble he’s married. lol. Remember M, 1 year down, ∞ to go.  So buckle your seat belt! 🙂 With this new month, I am:

  1. Recommitting to living a healthy and personally satisfying life which has started to incorporate healthy eating, healthy thought patterns, healthy patterns of exercise and positive thinking through obstacles.
  2. I am also going to pick up the slack on my credit card payment schedule as well as saving for our emergency fund. Right now, my end of year goal for the emergency fund is $5,000. Experts recommend at least 3 months’ worth of living expenses to as much as you feel like would suffice for your family.

Baby steps, folks. Baby steps. 🙂