A genuine reflection (part 1)

I just had a brain wave, but totally forgot what I wanted to rave about. I’m currently at Wally World and in a reflective state. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking with the help of MR who has been a blessing. I confided in her and she gave me the idea for a way to exorcise demons (figuratively speaking) out of my life. Letting go of things has never been harder, but I’ve never felt better from doing it. Starting from today, I’m letting go of the “shoulds” and working with the present day. Life is too goddamned short and precious for bullshit, you know? I’m an auntie now (niece from my sister and nephew from my other sister-from-another-mother) and that has given me cause for some serious reflection. For all I know, it could be me next although that is not in the works right now. lol. Sorry, moms (both of you. lol). When the time is right, I will talk about an issue that has been a seldom-talked about problem, but happens to have played a big part in things. Sorry for speaking in riddles or cryptically, but all shall be made clear in good time. Anyway, the point of this post was to reflect on my life and the blessings that have come my way. I feel very reconnected to my family and I cannot express how this makes me feel. All the “loneliness” of the past years has just melted away and it’s very humbling to be a part of a beloved family unit. Things have never been better with MA and RE as far as communications go and whether I like to admit it or not, I’m truly grateful for the state of relations between us right now. I’m learning how to be a more effective partner with M who is more like me than I care to admit. lol. We both tend to talk in riddles at times and of course, signals get crossed and misinterpreted. Our saving grace has been the fact that we both don’t like to sleep on an angry mind and more often than not, we talk things out till we are blue in the face(s). I just want to thank M for speaking his mind and the truth even when it earned him my anger at times. In the particular case I’m writing about, it was a solid case of the truth hurting and me wanting to ‘lash’ out at the source of my hurt. In the end, what he said ended up being a blessing in disguise because it galvanized both of us into action and we Got Things Done! There is no better feeling than that of accomplishment and that, my friends, is what I’m celebrating today. Accomplishment in the little things of life. Not getting a degree or earning a six figure salary. For now, I am happy with celebrating the simple act of forgiveness, humility and continual education from all areas of life.


Feeling inspired

Time and time again, I find that it pays to speak my mind. My mom has always said “speak the truth and shame the devil.” I cannot tell you how many times ‘fessing up to things has ended up being the best case scenario for whatever that thing was. I’ve had several encounters over the past couple of days that had me thinking about my approach to things and how much I’ve changed since I was a teenager a.k.a. in college. In my mind, I have some issues with asserting myself and more often than not, I find myself in situations where I heartily regret the course of action that I took & wished that I was a little more assertive/forceful/forthcoming. I also have some issues with trusting my opinion which sounds foreign, but it’s true. An example of that would be my first instinct in any situations that call for assertiveness or expression of some opinion (usually contrarian) would be to jump out there and express myself. However, what I usually end up doing is just being passively present. This constant battle of the two selves within me sometimes ends up leaving a nasty taste in my mouth and what I’m writing about concerns me shedding that cloak. On the bus home (couple of days ago), I was faced with an admittedly trivial situation where I could either slink off to the back of the bus or sit in the front which is my favourite spot. My dilemma was this: there was a guy occupying 3 chairs. Do I avoid “conflict” and find the next open spot or do I ask/take what is “mine”? Well, contrary to the voice that was screaming “move on”, I irritatedly asked the man “do you mind?” in that tone of voice that brooks no dissent. lol. I wasn’t a total rude woman to him, but I made it clear that I was taking my rightful spot and I felt good about that. In fact, it uplifted my spirits to be appropriately assertive. The next example of the “new” me happened a couple of minutes ago. I was pretty much alone on the bus and at a stop, 2 people hopped on. Where did they sit? Right behind me. I instinctively bristled and started fuming about why on earth did they have to crowd my space. The old Jane would have quietly steamed about the “injustice” of it all, but after a couple of tiring seconds stewing about it, I did something about it: I switched seats. I didn’t pay any attention to the voice in my head saying that they would be “upset” at me for switching seats. They could very well have cared less, but the point of this is I had a problem and took matters into my hand. I hope to hang on to this and keep exploring those deeper areas of myself.


Another sick example of the left wing media establishment attacking a brilliant independent thinker happens yet again.  The liberals want you to believe that they are the open minded representatives of peace and a voice for the intellectual progressive youth.  That they are the defenders of truth, freedom, freedom of speech, the children, and the environment.  But it is these same “open minded” liberals who attack talk show host Michael Savage when he exposes corruption in the medical industry, the government school institutions, and the media.  Why?  This could be a perfect example of what you call irony.  I consider that an understatement.  But they will call it “hate” speech.  You be the judge.

Since when did these delusional “progressives” care so much about preserving the ethical values that are essentially derived from nature?  This would require a respect for the freedom to operate within the limitations of a natural law and perhaps a belief in something that is for many “progressives” incomprehensible, simple minded, or foolish. A belief in a system of natural laws that stem from one essence.  Dare I say?

With a little innate knowledge of this system, and an elementary degree of understanding of a cause and effect sequence,  One is equipped with common sense.  He certainly need not be religious or spiritual in order to exercise common sense, but it is those who arrive at a greater understanding of the spiritual laws that are equipped with the tools necessary to more accurately see things as they are.  Not the spiritual derelicts that dwell in the mundane.

What we have here are those interested in restricting the voices and views that are contrary to their own. Especially views of those dedicated to the protection and preservation of this freedom.  Don’t let these vultures fool you!   They take Savage’s words, which are out of sincere concern and brilliant observation, totally out of context, to make you think that he is ridiculing autistic children.  Lies, Lies, Lies!!!   As Savage says, how in the hell can Howard Stern, with total impunity, make a living out of showcasing, belittling, and ridiculing those who are misfortunate and handicapped?  While he(Savage), a voice for many conscience driven free thinkers around the country, is attacked and vilified with the worst intentions in mind?  There can only be one logical explanation.  Howard Stern shares the same political views.  He is a part of the left wing entertainment media establishment and voice for the degenerate American.  The desecration of truth has come to fruition, while it awaits a new morality, a new leader will rise…  God Forbid!