Checkup


The Good

  1. My fun activities this summer have been comedy shows, Paint Nite events, and now getting my adrenalin fix from roller coasters! 😀
  2. Shared some thoughts on a panel with students at the coding bootcamp (virtual event and it was a wonderful event!)
  3. Scheduled to attend a coding conference in the near future and the content is super topical to what I’m currently working on. I’m really looking forward to leveling up my skills and learning from other working professionals!
  4. Continuing to volunteer and hoping to ramp up my participation!
  5. Have been invited to another event related to (2) and very much looking forward to it!
  6. Still kicking ass at work. I pride myself on being a fixer at work and I try my darndest to make sure I rebuild any broken steps I find while ‘fixing’ things. I imagine this work is noticed and will be rewarded appropriately (which I shall document for my year end reviews!)

The Not-so-good

  1. Still wrestle with feelings of inadequacy in various spheres (financial and career circles are the two main triggers at this point). I’d like to discuss more about these two items.

Financial

I think my fears here are 25% legitimate and 75% unfounded. Largely unfounded particularly because the metrics on finances show I’m objectively doing a lot better this year compared to last (shout out to Personal Capital and Mint for the goal tracking tools). The dampener on this sector is that we’re still engaging in a bit of frivolous spending when it comes to food. :/ We need a drill instructor yelling at us whenever we contemplate ordering in. It’s so much cheaper to eat in and we need to cultivate the habit of cooking.

Career

At this moment in time, I feel I can’t hold a candle to work some of my peers are doing. However, I’m starting to think this is unfair to myself to think this way and I should probably work through it with a therapist. I think being able to positively harness my feelings will ease my mind. On the positive side, I have resumed development on my existing repositories & fervently thinking about the ‘next thing’ to sink my teeth into. At work, I actively participate in code reviews, provide constructive criticisms, and trying to see where the ‘puck’ is going & heading there. In short, I’m trying to think like a senior engineer :). In general, I think that I’m on the ‘upswing’ of things. If I can step out of my comfort zone and take more risks, I know I’ll be alright.