Almost Labor Day

It feels insane that we’re 4 months away from 2022. WHERE HAS TIME GONE?

Ignore the crazy colors; I’m typing this on an iPad and I just noticed that the blocks can specify background colors and text. Pretty nifty.

What’s new with me? Well, I’m still actively making my own skin care products! As a matter of fact, I’ve just finished preparing a batch that should last me ~ 3 months (2 lbs worth of product). It feels pretty cool to “make” things with my own hands. For some reason, I’ve always considered myself ‘not a maker’ or ‘not creative’ but here I am, making things. ☺️

On the work front, things are busy (shocker). Since my promotion to E5, the stakes have been raised higher and I’m terrified of letting myself down and my manager down. I don’t think I’ve had anyone believe in me like my manager does (Matt and family don’t count ) and I badly want to step my game up. I need to not let my fear of failure sabotage this new phase of my life and I’ll do my best. Lots of interviewing! My company strongly believes that its employees should be involved in the hiring process and it’s an incredibly powerful opportunity to ensure we’re hiring for the people that we believe will have impact at the company.

On the personal front, I switched from the Android ecosystem to Apple and I’m sad to report that the rumors of things “just working” ™ are true. I’ve gone all in because of how smooth sailing the transition from Android to iOS (Apple) has been. The hardware and the ecosystem is just unbeatable. In other words, Apple has “hits that stick like grits”! So far, I’ve used part of my windfall this year to purchase a iPhone, iPad, Apple Watch, and a variety of services. I also anticipate and am excited about dabbling into iOS development given how frustrating Android development has felt. Granted, it’s been YEARs since I’ve tried to develop on Android but I’m just ready for a new thing. Plus, I’m ready for a new hobby. I haven’t actively worked on new tech related hobbies and I’m finally ready to get back into it.

On the health front, Utah has been covered in smoke from the wildfires. My activity tanked and so did my mood. I can feel depression creeping back up but no fear, I know what I need to do to get out of that funk – aggressive TLC and therapy. My company via Modern Health offers 10 free therapy sessions which is pretty good and I’m gonna take advantage of it.

On the financial front, thanks to the windfall, I hit a personal milestone ahead of schedule and I don’t feel so panicked about retirement as much. I don’t aspire to be filthy rich and I don’t have hedonistic tendencies so my goal with retirement is to be free to purchase things that I care about without worrying about money. If I keep growing my career and preserve my modest spending habits, I’ll have no trouble attaining this goal.

Feedback

Getting feedback that is less than complimentary stings so much. I am fond of saying feedback is a gift but boy, at times like this, it sticks in my craw.

I’ll be fine. The silver lining here is that the feedback which has me in my feelings is actionable. I can work with that.

Blessings

I recently came into some unexpected funds and it was the best experience of my life to be able to bless my family from the bounty. This experience has cemented for me things that fill up my cup. Helping others that I care about in any way that I can makes me feel whole. I hope you are being a blessing to others.

New thresholds

It’s hard to believe that it is April 2021. Time is flying by and at the same time, feels like I’m on pause. Nevertheless, this year is proving to be equal parts challenging and surprising

For the second time ever, I rated myself as a high performer and my employer agreed! I also had the added bonus of earning a promotion which was a wonderful cherry on top for me. It comes with a pretty decent raise which puts me in the range for E5 engineers on levels.fyi

This new role requires an additional set of skills that I am still working on but I’m incredibly excited. My manager is in my corner and I cannot express how this promo would not have happened without here. Thank you, Z.

Grateful

What a year.

I’ll start off with some good news: I got a raise! It caps off a pretty rough year but one where I never stopped giving my best. I really love where I work and I am looking forward to another year!

Grateful that I am getting more financially stable as I’ve gotten older. I’m behind the retirement 8-ball still but no longer by a lot. I can absorb unexpected bills and put things on autopay. I feel very fortunate and blessed to be able to satisfy most of my needs.

Grateful for my body. I went through a dark phase of not caring about her and this year saw me wake up out of my stupor and start paying more attention. I’m not any skinnier but I’m hardier and can hike 20 miles on a dime. I shit you not. 😅

Review season

My employer does something very unusual. Instead of waiting till the end of the year to deliver a final review, we have mid year reviews.

At first, I felt weirded out by this and even more weirded out by our practice of having peer reviews! I was filled with anxiety around what people would think of me and of going through a judgement cycle.

I have now gone through this process about 3 times now and I can confidently say that my fears about it being a judgement cycle were unfounded. Rather than fear the thoughts of my peers, I found that I’ve become excited and keen to learn what people think about me! Not just the good parts but the parts that I could use some growing on too. Furthermore, I look at mid year reviews as an opportunity to take a bit of break and truly reflect on exactly what your hustle and bustle achieved.

Engaging in this review process requires brutal honesty with oneself and a willingness to hear the good and the bad. I’m a constant work in progress but I continue to be thrilled with my progress in the arena of confronting my fears. 🤗